Ok. we have the 5 simple rules, typed out nicely in black in white. But can we expand on this a bit? Many of us know these things fundamentally, but I think it’s important to take the five simple rules here and a dissect it.
- Free your heart from hatred. Ok. HOW do we do this? Easier said than done, right? We can be so damn angry. Sometimes, we have been so angry for so long, we don’t even remember what we’re angry about. We’re angry at the world, ourselves, our ex, our parents for doing whatever selfish thing they did, world leaders for being the dickholes they are, corporations for their insatiable greed, your neighbor for being a color, political party or religion that either you don’t agree with or that makes you uncomfortable. The list could go on and on, couldn’t it? But is it them, or is it YOU? When we are angry at someone or something, is it because they cut us off in traffic or because we expect too much? In all of our need to be angry and judgmental, the only thing you’re doing is hurting yourself. You are either desperately trying to hold on to an idea of how you think it should be, or refusing to “release someone from the hook” you hung them on to “punish” them. A good Read for letting shit go: The Four Agreements The world is not going to magically shape itself to fit your ideas of acceptable, unacceptable or perfect. So stop wasting precious time and energy trying to change others. It’s robbing you of your joy and preventing you from getting on with loving life, your self, loving others and creating magic in your world. Let go and say ‘fuck it’ and enjoy your life without expectations from anyone else.
- Free your mind from worries. We worry about the things we want to change, we worry about the things we can’t change, we worry about what may be, or what won’t be. Seriously, stop worrying so much. You may actually be drawing negative things to you when you do this. Worrying about something is just a fear or a series of your fears being played over and over. How miserable is that? You wouldn’t sit through a movie watching the same sad scene over and over again, would you? So why torture yourself with fear and worry? Lay your truths out on the table. Express the desires of your heart specifically. Ask for what you need and set into motion what you want. Discard what you don’t want. Express your gratitude to God/the Universe and then wait for the help that’s on the way. IT WILL COME. Believe that it will come. Let your faith be bigger than your fear. We all worry, but when we do it, we have to realize we’re doing it and stop doing it. This is the part where I say, “Fuck you fear!” A good read: The Law of Attraction
- Live simply. Seriously. I LOVE living simply. Too much crap = too much physical and emotional baggage. In my own experiences, there is nothing worse than owning too much stuff, having too many bills and living way beyond my means. I don’t want to own too many things because it just weighs me down and becomes a determining factor in where I live, how I live, how much I pay for where I live and whether I can move or not. I am not going to let my “stuff” own me. I am a free spirit, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let my life be dictated by an attic full of crap I don’t want to move or a garage so full of junk I can’t even park my car in it. If your home and surroundings are cluttered, it’s going to affect you negatively. If you are spending more than you’re making, you cannot have have a sense of freedom or peace of mind. The average home in 1950 was 930 sq. ft. Nowadays, the average family home is 3000 sq. ft. Why? It’s not because families are having more children, it’s because we have more stuff. Simplifying our lives is not just about tangible stuff we can see, touch, use. It’s also about the invisible, emotional aspects of simplicity. In the Be More With Less blog, Courtney Carver states, “When we reduce commitments and obligations, and eliminate common stressors like debt, crappy jobs, and hurtful relationships, we have time to take better care of our heart and soul. There is time for a nap or writing and being creative, and space for meditation or a simple gratitude practice”.
A good read: The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up
- Give More. Being attached to your stuff and/or money and time suggests that you do not have enough of any of it. If you want to create more of these things in your life, you need to give freely. It isn’t just about giving because it feels good, it’s about going beyond yourself and exercising that emotional muscle that says it’s OK to give freely. I always remember the Ubuntu saying when it comes to giving, and that is, “I am because we are”. Giving of yourself, your time, financial resources, etc. does not give you less. In Conversations with God, we are told that ” Whatever it is we wish to experience in our own lives, we must make someone else experience in their life”. In other words, do unto others as you would have done unto you. We are all connected, and the moment we all realize that, the better off we’ll be. A good read: Conversations With God
- Expect Less. Indeed. The more we can let go of our own expectations and attachments outcomes, the less we’ll be disappointed. We have to try really hard to be mindful in situations to not project our own ideas, fears, etc. on a person or an outcome. We become disappointed when it doesn’t work out the way we want it to, don’t we? We become angry at or blame the other person because “they didn’t live up to our expectations”. And that is precisely why we create our suffering. As soon as we realize and accept that all people are on their own journey, living their own truths, complicated and confused at times, the better off we will be personally.
I am going to add #6. Because I think this is an important one.
6. Accept and LOVE yourself. Focus on your talents and strengths and forget about the ideas of what you think you should be doing or could be doing. Forgive yourself of past “mistakes”. They weren’t mistakes, just choices. Choices are just decisions you made at the time, based on the info you had at the time. Learn to look back on your past and understand and/or laugh at things you did or experienced. If someone is uncomfortable about it or unaccepting, fuck them. It’s their issue to work out, not yours. Your purpose in life is to live, experience and grow. You are not here to become acceptable to anyone. Quiet your inner critic. When she starts talking shit to you about a choice you made, tell her to fuck off. Or, if you want a more diplomatic approach, you can go with Dr. Marter’s self-talk suggestion, “Our mistakes and our imperfections are not bad or wrong or failures–they are the fingerprints of humanity and opportunities for learning, healing and growth.”
Surround yourself with positive, awesome people who treat you with kindness and respect. These are people who bring out the best in you, support you and believe in you! If your current circle of friends is not lifting you up to see your best self, you may want to find yourself in a new circle.
Be a little selfish. Take care of yourself with things that make you feel good. For me, it’s getting a massage, reading a new book, having a salt and lavender bath soak, a pedicure, a mini vacation or even a new something to treat myself. Either way, these self-love/self-care moments are important. You need to love and nurture yourself because – you deserve it.